解构“何江哈佛毕业演讲”文稿

| 留学生招聘 |

【www.guakaob.com--留学生招聘】

  何江在毕业典礼上是作为研究生优秀毕业生的代表发表演讲,哈佛校方确认他是第一位享此殊荣的中国大陆学生。当天,与他同台演讲的特邀嘉宾是著名导演史蒂芬·斯皮尔伯格。以下是中国招生考试网www.chinazhaokao.com 分享的解构“何江哈佛毕业演讲”文稿,希望能帮助到大家!

  解构“何江哈佛毕业演讲”文稿

  细看何江的演讲稿,其实非常有技巧,有资深的申请老师说:拿这篇演讲稿再申请一次哈佛也够了。所以今天我们就来仔细分析一下何江的这篇演讲文稿,帮助大家整理一些申请文书的写作技巧。

  The Spider’s Bite

  蜘蛛咬伤事件的启示

  When I was in middle school, a poisonous spider bit my right hand. I ran to my mom for help—but instead of taking me to a doctor, my mom set my hand on fire.(美国人喜欢“以小见大”,用故事开头既能抓住听众兴趣,又能体现亲和度,拉进与观众的关系,同时可以制造笑点。)

  当我读初中的时候,有一次,一只毒蜘蛛咬伤了我的右手。我跑到妈妈那边寻求帮助。她没有带我去看医生,而是采用了“火疗”的方法。

  poisonous:有毒的

  run to…for help:跑向某人以寻求帮助

  instead of:而不是…

  set…on fire:对…放火

  After wrapping my hand with several layers of cotton, then soaking it in wine, she put a chopstick into my mouth, and ignited the cotton. Heat quickly penetrated the cotton and began to roast my hand. The searing pain made me want to scream, but the chopstick prevented it. All I could do was watch my hand burn - one minute, then two minutes –until mom put out the fire.(详细描述“火疗”的土法,让听众不禁啧啧称奇。进一步抓住他们的attention)

  她在我的手上包了好几层棉花,用白酒把棉花打湿,在我的嘴里放了一双筷子,然后点燃了棉花。热量快速穿透棉花,开始炙烤我的右手。我疼得直想叫,可嘴里的筷子却让我叫不出来。我只能眼睁睁看着我的手被烧伤,一分钟,两分钟,直到妈妈把火熄灭。

  soak…in…:把…浸在…里

  ignite:点燃

  penetrate:穿透

  roast:炙烤

  searing:灼热的

  scream:尖叫

  put out the fire:把火熄灭

  You see, the part of China I grew up in was a rural village, and at that time pre-industrial. When I was born, my village had no cars, no telephones, no electricity, not even running water. And we certainly didn’t have access to modern medical resources. There was no doctor my mother could bring me to see about my spider bite.(反转。指出土法是由于缺乏知识的表现,渐渐进入主题。)

  大家知道吗,我在中国的农村长大。那个时候,我家乡还处于“前工业时代”。我出生之时,村子里没有汽车,没有电话,没有电,甚至连自来水都没有。我们当然也没法接触到现代医疗资源。村里没有一个可以给我治疗的医生。

  running water:自来水

  have access to:接触到

  For those who study biology, you may have grasped the science behind my mom’s cure: heat deactivates proteins, and a spider’s venom is simply a form of protein. It’s cool how that folk remedy actually incorporates basic biochemistry, isn’t it? But I am a PhD student in biochemistry at Harvard, I now know that better, less painful and less risky treatments existed. So I can’t help but ask myself, why I didn’t receive one at the time?(宕开一笔,介绍土法背后的科学逻辑,再制造笑点“现在懂更好的办法,但无法穿越回去”,再和听众进行思维互动“为何当时没能用更好的办法”,这个问题就是全篇演讲的核心--知识分布的不平衡。)

  如果你是学生物的,你或许已经猜到这种“火疗”法背后的逻辑:热量可以分解蛋白质,而蜘蛛的毒液就是一种蛋白质的形式。想想也挺酷的,土办法里竟然也包含着现代生物化学的基础原理。但是,作为哈佛大学生物化学博士的我,现在知道了其实有更好的,没那么痛苦,也更安全的治疗方法。于是我不禁问自己,为什么我在当时没能接受这样的方法呢?

  grasp:掌握、了解

  cure:治疗(方法)

  deactivate:使…失效

  venom:毒液

  folk remedy:土办法

  incorporate:包含

  biochemistry:生物化学

  Fifteen years have passed since that incident. I am happy to report that my hand is fine. But this question lingers, and I continue to be troubled by the unequal distribution of scientific knowledge throughout the world. We have learned to edit the human genome and unlock many secrets of how cancer progresses. We can manipulate neuronal activity literally with the switch of a light. Each year brings more advances in biomedical research--exciting, transformative accomplishments.(此段正式点题,看到人类科学巨大突破的同时,也能看到问题--不均衡分布,显示出作者悲天悯人的情怀)

  蜘蛛咬伤我的事件已经过去十五年了。我非常高兴地向各位汇报,我的手没有再出现任何问题。但是,我刚刚提到的问题却一直萦绕在脑海中。我也常常为科学知识在全球的不均衡分布而感到苦恼。事实上,我们已经掌握如何编辑人类基因组,也破解了很多癌症的发病机制。我们甚至可以通过光束来操控大脑神经元的活动。每一年都见证了生物医学领域的巨大进步--让人兴奋的、颠覆性的伟大成就。

  incident:事件

  linger:徘徊

  the unequal distribution of:…的不均衡分布

  genome:基因组

  unlock the secret of:解密…

  manipulate:操控

  neuronal activity:神经元活动

  transformative:颠覆性的

  Yet, despite the knowledge we have amassed, we haven’t been so successful in deploying it to where it’s needed most. According to the World Bank, twelve percent of the world’s population lives on less than $2 a day. Malnutrition kills more than 3 million children annually. Three hundred million people are afflicted by malaria globally. All over the world, we constantly see these problems of poverty, illness, and lack of resources impeding the flow of scientific information. Lifesaving knowledge we take for granted in the modern world is often unavailable in these underdeveloped regions. And in far too many places, people are still essentially trying to cure a spider bite with fire.(用detail详述“知识是如何不均衡分布的”)

  然而,尽管人类已经掌握和积累了大量知识,但是我们还是没能很好地把它们运用在最需要的地方。世界银行的数据显示,世界上大约有12%的人口每天的生活水平在2美元以下。每年都会有三百万儿童因营养不良而死亡。全球有3亿人仍然饱受疟疾之苦。在世界各地,我们经常看到贫穷、疾病和资源短缺,这些都阻碍了科学知识的传播。现代社会里那些习以为常的救生知识在不发达地区还未普及。于是,在世界上很多地区,人们仍然用火疗的方法来处理蜘蛛咬伤事件。

  amass:积累

  deploy…to…:把…运用在…

  live on:靠…过活

  malnutrition:营养不良

  be afflicted by:因…而受苦

  malaria:疟疾

  impede:阻碍

  take…for granted:认为…是理所应当的

  underdeveloped regions:不发达地区

  cure…with…:用…来治疗

  While studying at Harvard, I saw how scientific knowledge can help others in simple, yet profound ways. The bird flu pandemic in the 2000s looked to my village like a spell cast by demons. Our folk medicine didn’t even have half-measures to offer. What’s more, farmers didn’t know the difference between common cold and flu; they didn’t understand that the flu was much more lethal than the common cold. Most people were also unaware that the virus could transmit across different species.(进一步举例来展示发达地区和不发达地区的差距。)

  在哈佛读书期间,我看到科学知识是如何以一种简约而不简单的方式来帮助他人的。在2000年的时候,禽流感肆虐,对我们村而言,这种病就像是魔鬼的诅咒。村里的土方法也束手无策。另外,村民们弄不清普通感冒和流感的区别,他们并不懂得流感比普通感冒更致命。而且,大部分人根本不了解流感病毒可以在不同物种间传播。

  in simple yet profound way:以简约而不简单的方法

  …look to…like…:…对于…而言,就像…

  a spell cast by demon:魔鬼的诅咒

  So when I realized that simple hygiene practices like separating different animal species could contain the spread of the disease, and that I could help make this knowledge available to my village, that was my first “Aha” moment as a budding scientist. But it was more than that: it was also a vital inflection point in my own ethical development, my own self-understanding as a member of the global community.(举自己的例子,阐述个人如何发挥作用。)

  所以当我了解了简单有效的卫生措施--比如隔离不同的动物可以遏制疾病的传播,并把这样的信息告诉我的村民的时候,我的心里第一次有了作为未来科学家的成就感和使命感。我还感受到了,它是我个人道德发展的重要转折点,也让我明白了我是地球大家庭中的一员。

  hygiene:卫生的

  contain:除了“包含”之外,还有“抑制”的意思

  make…available to…:让…接触到…

  budding:萌芽的

  infection point:转折点

  Harvard dares us to dream big, to aspire to change the world. Here on this Commencement Day, we are probably thinking of grand destinations and big adventures that await us. As for me, I am also thinking of the farmers in my village. My experience here reminds me how important it is for researchers to communicate our knowledge to those who need it. Because by using the science we already have, we could probably bring my village and thousands like it into the world you and I take for granted every day. And that’s an impact every one of us can make!(进一步凸显出自己光辉的形象和远大的抱负--颇有“先天下之忧而忧,后天下之乐而的乐”的风范。)

  哈佛让我们敢于做梦,让我们渴望改变世界。今天在这个毕业典礼上,大家可能正幻想着等待我们的伟大理想的和征途。对我而言,我却想着是我家乡的那些村民。我的这段经历提醒着我对于一个研究人员,把知识传播给最需要它们的人是多么的重要。因为通过使用我们已经掌握的科学,我们可以把我家乡的村民和成千上万类似的人带入到你我熟知的世界。这是我们每一个人都可以发挥的影响!

  dream big:梦想高远

  aspire to:渴望…

  …that awaits us:等待着我们的…

  remind…of…:提醒着某人某事

  bring…into…:把…带入…

  make an impact:发挥影响

  But the question is, will we make the effort or not?(再转折,让听众意识到梦想虽美好,但现实很残酷。)

  但问题是,我们会这样去做吗?

  make the effort:做出这样的努力

  More than ever before, our society emphasizes science and innovation. But an equally important emphasis should be on distributing the knowledge we have to where it’s needed. Changing the world doesn’t mean that everyone has to find the next big thing. It can be as simple as becoming better communicators, and finding more creative ways to pass on the knowledge we have to people like my mom and the farmers in their local community. Our society also needs to recognize that the equal distribution of knowledge is a pivotal step of human development, and work to bring this into reality.(先论证“知识的传播”和“知识的生成”是一样重要,进而提升听众信心--“改变世界没那么难!”,很有号召力。)

  今天的社会比以往任何一个时代都强调科学和创新的重要性。但同样重要的是,把人类已掌握的知识传播到特别需要它们的地方。改变世界并不意味着每个人都要找到下一个巨大突破。改变世界可以很简单:成为一个沟通者,用有效的方法把我们掌握的知识传递给像我母亲以及村里其他的村民。我们这个社会也需要认识到知识的均衡传播是人类发展的关键环节,并应该努力让它成为现实。

  more than ever before:比以往任何时间都

  an emphasis should be put on:我们应重视…(物作为主语的写法)

  …doesn’t mean that…have to…:…不意味着…必须…

  pass on the knowledge to:把知识传递给…

  a pivotal step of:…的关键环节

  bring…into reality:让…成为现实

  And if we do that, then perhaps a teenager in rural China who is bitten by a spider will not have to burn his hand, but will know to seek a doctor instead. (回到故事本身,首尾呼应,落脚点温暖而美好。)

  如果我们能够做到这些,那么一个被蜘蛛咬伤的中国农村少年将不会忍受“火疗”,而会得到医生的专业治疗。

  这篇文章实际上也是一篇优秀的国外大学申请个人文书。文章的结构非常值得我们学习:从自己的一个小故事引申出一个大问题,然后讲自己如何去解决这个问题,并号召大家一起来解决,世界就能变成一个better place。这种写法也符合美国人的审美观。

  故事:蜘蛛咬伤自己

  问题:知识传播的不均衡

  解决:自己先掌握先进知识,再把知识传播到最需要的地方

  号召:改变世界其实不难

  畅想:让每个人都能分享知识进步的果实

  这个结构可以作为大家以后申请国外大学PS的写作框架,当然,你去参加什么演讲比赛,也可以用这个结构。何江的演讲也是特别好的范文,请熟读。另外,本文在语言上也特别出彩,虽然没有什么“大词”、也没有什么“复杂的句式”,但全文读起来简洁、流畅、地道、表达清晰。真正的好的文章一定就是这个样子:用简洁的词和句、丰富多变的句式、大量的固定搭配、内容衔接性好、表达简洁。请大家学习这样的风格。这里我特别须要指出,“固定搭配”的运用对于文章的重要性,本篇文章中就用了大量这样的“固定搭配”,比如:

  “have access to(接触)”、“folk remedy(土办法)”、“unlock the secret of(解密)”、“unequal distribution of…(…的不均衡分布)”、“be afflicted by(因…而受苦)”、“deploy…to…(把…运用到…)”、“a spell cast by demon(魔鬼的诅咒)”、“…that awaits us(等待我们的…)”、“bring…into reality(把…变为现实)”…

  这些句型和词组被我们称为“语块”,一篇文章中这些用的越多,地道性就越强,它们对于文章写作意义重大。

本文来源:http://www.guakaob.com/qiuzhizhaopin/445295.html

    热门标签

    HOT