【www.guakaob.com--GRE】
范例
People have shown their selfishness and greed in modern society. Therefore, some people would like to go back to those traditional societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?【自私的文章】
Many people now make various complaints about modern society, especially people’s selfishness and greed. Some of them even argue that they would like to go back to those traditional societies. Obviously, this opinion is rather arbitrary. (36words) (开头摆出一些人的观点，然后引入个人观点。)
To begin with, not everyone in modern society is so selfish and greedy that it is unbearable. It is true that some people cannot resist the temptation brought about by modern society and therefore become egotistic and greedy for wealth, fame and the like. Nonetheless, we should not overlook the fact that more people are content with current living standards and can get along with others. (66 words) （开门见山提出支持现代社会的第一个理由。）
What’s more, it is apparent that modern society has superiority over traditional ones in quality of life. Unlike traditional societies, modern society leads people to know how to entertain and relax themselves and enjoy their life. People in traditional societies may be thriftier, but a boring and stereotype life style cannot satisfy people’s increasing demand for material life. Life also needs creativity and novelty. (64 words) （用逻辑连接词what’s more引出支持现代社会的第二个理由。）
Nothing in the world, nevertheless, is perfect and modern society is no exception. There is no denying that some selfish and greedy people exist in modern society, but this is not a proper reason why we should go back to traditional societies. There is no doubt that there must also be a lot of selfish and greedy people in traditional societies. Going back to traditional societies, therefore, can by no means solve the problem. (73 words)（用逻辑连接词nevertheless引出现代社会存在的问题，然后指出传统社会存在同样问题。对比法。）
To sum up, any society, modern or traditional, has its own merits and demerits and we cannot focus only on one side. Modern society, though disliked by some people, command my preference. (32 words)
得分：８分【自私的文章】
这篇文章和范例５的风格一样，采用５段式的结构，每段的词数和内容都控制的很好。而且最可贵的是，不像有些提供的例文给人感觉很花哨且不实用，这两篇８分的例文都是按照应试作文的结构来写的，注重实用，而不炫耀文采。因此，给人感觉８分并不是那么的遥远。
自私的我
我们做人不能自私，否则会失去很多。【自私的文章】
去年春节的时候，姥姥，姥爷，奶奶，舅舅等许多亲人来我家做客，我高兴极啦！
正在我和表姐表弟玩的正起劲时妈妈突然说：“奕然把你QQ糖拿出来一起吃吧！”我闷闷不乐地说：“我才不要呢！那是我的！”妈妈皱起眉头：“没事，吃完我还给你买呢，不然我可要打你啦！”我生气地说：“打就打吧，我就不给。”妈妈说：“小孩子不能这么任性。”我手叉腰说：“哼！”说完，妈妈火冒三丈，顿时像大狮子一样，抡起巴掌就要打我，在姑姑他们的阻拦下，我没有挨到巴掌。我哭着跑到房间里，抱着QQ糖想：明天，后天，大后天都会有客人来，妈妈肯定又会让我把QQ糖给别人吃。后来，我将QQ糖一扫而空。
晚上，我被剧烈的牙痛惊醒啦。我抱着枕头大哭了起来，妈妈闻声而来：“你怎么啦？”我哭着说道：“我牙齿好疼。”妈妈立刻把我送到了医院，一针下去后我的牙痛止住啦。妈妈说：“今天我要打你，是妈妈不对，但是你想想，你今天做的对吗？”我惭愧的低下头说：“妈妈我错啦，我不应该这么自私！”
这件事深深地刻在了我的脑海，我现在郑重地告诉大家：“不要太自私啦！”河北省沙河市第一私立小学 四（8）班 陈奕然 指导老师：吕少刚